The angry side of me?

i had a long weekend.. wasnt feeling very well yesterday so i had to call in sick..
long weekend it was...

was a fine sunday morning.. as usual, i woke up at 5am.. had a short early morning walk with my mother then coffee and pandesal afterward. i just spent the passing hours over news and helping out my bro-in-law prepare food for the little eatery we have back in pampanga. it was not long before i realized that the sun was high up already and everybody was out of their beds including my loveable pamangkins. my mom and i were cutting some carrots, apples and bananas which my mother blended for a drink. it's a nice blended drink she always prepares. behind this weekend morning routine, is actually a fight that i would never forget.

my sister (roselyn) and i were having a discussion about an important matter.. i didnt like the way she was sounding at a certain point of the conversation so, i began to talk in a rather loud manner. then i was already screaming on top of my voice. we were in the living room which is just a step away from my bedroom and the next thing i know is that i was walking out of the conversation and banging the bedroom door behind me. my mother was there and i should admit, it was rude of me to do that. well, i didnt just banged the door once, i kept opening it just to slam it right at them.inside the room what i can only think of was leave. this has always been my resort when tension starts to build up on me and when my having to 'open up' start to pace. i'd rather leave things unsaid. am afraid of opening up and making myself known.. for some reason, i just want to keep what i feel to myself. i know its bad.. its bad a lot of times.

so there i packed my things and buzzed off out of the house. my mother, still composed, went out to bring me back inside.. she's old and has hypertension (and had a stroke hystory) so i didnt argue with her and came back inside. that was just then that it all started. my mom brought roselyn and i in her room.. she started to get furious on me. my father came in already as well as my other elder sister. we all got emotional already, most especially i. when i was starting to break down, i hurried to the door to escape. i just gotta get out. let it out without them seeing me. my father however, was stronger than i to keep me in the room. then i broke down to tears. and all that i was feeling, all that i kept in me all along just came out in one sentence. and there it was.. the shock of their lives. i guess its true what they say.. 'When it rains, it pours..'

it was by far, the heaviest fight i had with my ate - roselyn.. and the heaviest scene i made (drama to the max!). and to make things worse, it was my father's birthday.. i know and i admit that it was all my fault. miscommunication.. temper temper temper..
i am so sorry.. and if there were two things i could do.. it would be for time to take back what i said to them and what my sister said about me. things may not be the same after this but one thing will surely remain.. that we are sisters and always will be...

dont you just find it amazing how much your family loves you even when you hurt them time and again? you can even hurt them more than any other person in the world but they will always be your family ready to accept you for all that you are.. unfaltered.. unstained..

on the wacky side of the story...
later that afternoon, my mother sitting beside me, tapped me on the hand and asked.. 'anak, nakadrugs ka ba?' and there it was.. what made my day! how i love my Mother.. she can make us all laugh, just like that..