Trying to keep my feet on the ground...

For the longest time, I didn't have the energy to blog until now. I feel like I needed an outlet. I have my family and enough friends whom I can talk and pour whatever I needed to say with but it's just not enough. I can't define how I feel let alone distinguish what and how many kinds of emotion am having right now. They're all growing up inside me, clogging my sanity. Lately, I've been doing stupid things unconsciously, can't do work properly, can't even eat well. I think too much yet I can't think about anything at all. My fiance and I have been planning and preparing for the big day in about 8 months now and I know things are already in place. But for some reasons, I am uneasy, worried, nervous, EXCITED, KILIG and OVERJOYED all at the same time. After I first met with my couturier, I told myself I have to lose weight. Without me knowing it, am losing double the weight I intend to. My sister's right, I need not work on it because of all the planning and pre wedding "pressure" and "stress" I will definitely lose weight. O well, I really don't care how I look and I never did but I do now. I know Richard loves me for what I am but I just want to look beautiful even for just this time in my life,like I was the most beautiful woman ever.. and i want him to be happy marrying me..